fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
