Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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