the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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