Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
