So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
