Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
