I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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