A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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