sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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