You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
