you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
