Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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