I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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