When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
