Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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