i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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