why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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