ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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