Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
