Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am available for nakedness
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
