When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
