Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
