Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
