Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
