garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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