i jhust puked up my retainher.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
