So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
