It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
