I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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