I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
