And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
