so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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