is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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