If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
