When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
