tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
