The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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