Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
