She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't think brook has ever known best
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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