Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
