Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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