butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
After last night, I could never be a politician.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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