don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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