i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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