We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize