I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
