well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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