Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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