I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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