he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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