what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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