so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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