she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
