im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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