Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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