? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
