Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
