i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
